


we are meant to break each other's hearts anyway

by meananimagus



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bittersweet, Hanahaki Disease, M/M, Pain, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-08
Updated: 2020-07-08
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:46:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25144123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meananimagus/pseuds/meananimagus
Relationships: Jeon Wonwoo/Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi
Kudos: 5





	we are meant to break each other's hearts anyway

petals. white, pink, purple, red, bright colored petals. crimson, pastel, ivory, like a myriad of obscured rainbows, the beautiful sheets of silky petals continued to scrape against his throat and stream out, escaping from his lips as he coughed them out, scratching the walls of his mouth, leaving stings and pains, as if slitting every skin on his neck. the vomitting didn't halt even until his eyes burned hot from tears brimming and forcing their way out the brim. it hurt too much. the pain is cruel, the pain is unbearable. he couldn't help but kneel down onto the cold tiled floor of the darkened bathroom, his knees completely lost their strength and are now sporting bruises caused by the hard surface they are pressed against. he couldn't force himself to stand up for the petals are still rising up from his abdomen, relentlessly causing him ache all over his body and within his heart. it seemed never-ending, and the pain is cumulative, exponentially increasing in amount with every petal that exits his trembling lips, spits and tears pouring alongside them into the bottom of the bowl.

wonwoo is suffering all because of an emotion he felt without his consent, he didn't even want to feel it. he didn't ask for it. just because his heart started beating for someone who doesn't feel the same way about him. he is miserable and broken in this pile of ruthless flowers. why must love be so cruel? why must life be so unfair? why did he have to fall in love for a person who is in love with someone else, who is with someone else that is not him? why does it have to be just him stuck, in the tragedy of one-sided love and live with it in misery, physically and emotionally shattering him from the inside.

another petal touched the bottom of his throat, forcing it's way out just as another warm tear fell from his eyes. he coughed it out, leaning over the toilet bowl, his hands clutching against his stomach that clenches and starting to constrict from all the pain. his throat feels so broken and his chest literally heavy, extremely massive that he fears it would break his body into pieces.

he started to sob more. his thoughts circling around the dark abyss, wondering about all the sufferings he's been through already because of this unrequited love. he didn't want it.

no one wanted to love and not be loved in return. no one wanted to feel so many emotions towards a certain person while that person feels those emotions towards someone else. no one wanted to be in a situation where he would hear the mere name of the person he loves and petals of a red carnation would start bubbling around his stomach, trailing their way up until he throws them all out. red carnation represents his bleeding heart.

his spine began to relax, abdomen and chest heaving from too much exertion, from being overused. he leant back, his shoulders pressed against the wall. tears kept on falling, wetting his cheeks over and over that he stopped bothering himself to wipe them off, miserable whimpers releasing from his mouth.

and that's when another episode ends. it's always like that. wonwoo would see mingyu with someone else, he would watch them be a lovely couple being all over each other. touchy, sweet, staring towards each other's eyes with so much love and affection. then he would run away and hide to a place where he can vomit all the evil flowers unbearably inflicting him dreadful physical pain. the cycle goes on and on and he doesn't have any idea when it would stop. if it would even come to an end.

he went out of the bathroom, lethargic, drained out of everything, he fixed himself then trudged his way towards his bed. he buried myself from the protection of his thick blankets, emotionally exhausted.

"wonwoo-ah.." a soft voice came from behind him. it was soonyoung, his roommate and he didn't put an effort to turn around, afraid that his bloodshot and swollen eyes will expose him, instead he just hummed in response, throat still hoarse and scratchy. the edge of his bed dipped a bit and wonwoo realized that soonyoung sat on the empty space behind him.

"i know how much it hurts, you don't need to hide it from me." wonwoo tensed at the older's words. his hands fisting the duvet against his chest as soonyoung resumed talking.

"hanahaki, right? that very cliche, overrated, unrequited love disease."

"h-how did you know?" wonwoo slowly sat up, there was no use denying it anyway, he could never lie to soonyoung, he could never lie to someone he trusts the most. he turned to face the older, noticing soonyoung's eyes were just as red as his own, his lips are as chapped and dry as his. soonyoung smiled bitterly, looking straight into wonwoo's eyes, pain and misery lacing his orbs.

"because everytime you're hurt because of him, i am hurting too. for every petal you vomit is equivalent to two petals i cough out. for every tears that falls from your eyes, i bawl out in double pain. everytime i see you, watching them with painful eyes, my heart clenches the same. because while you're hurting from loving him, i am living everyday with pain for loving you."

"soonyoung.." the male's lips started to quiver and his tears fell at the same time as the wonwoo's. he looked down, palm planted flat against his left chest, patting gently, attempting to lessen the ache.

wonwoo felt bad, guilty, his hatred towards himself increasing. how can he be so clueless? how can he hurt someone like soonyoung just by being oblivious about how he felt? soonyoung didn't deserve all the pain he suffered from because of him.

but what he felt bad for even more? wonwoo feels bad that he doesn't feel the same way soonyoung feels for him. wonwoo felt awful that despite knowing of the older's feelings, his heart still aches for mingyu. why did fate have to play with them so dirty?

with trembling hands, he pulled the sobbing older and wrapped him against his arms. soonyoung sobbed louder, whispering continuous apologies for what he felt, for the things that he doesn't have any control of, for the things they both had no power to lead the way they want to.

they both felt sorry for falling in love and for not having the person they love feel the same. they are both sorry that they existed in a cruel word that gave them nothing else but pain.

soonyoung loves wonwoo, womwoo loves mingyu and mingyu loves someone else. the both of them would never get the love that would cure them and heal them from the pain that are growing immensely around their chests.

maybe this was their purpose, to represent all the broken hearts in the world and die from it because their illnesses are incurable.

wonwoo hoped he could just love soonyoung back, he hoped he can just forget about the other and fall in love with his roommate instead. but life never worked the way they wanted. soonyoung doesn't deserve faked reciprocation. wonwoo doesn't deserve to commit himself into a forced relationship. the both of them doesn't deserve an even more insufferable situation.

instead, they would just hold onto each other, trying to get over the emotion that built up tortures their whole lives. trying to live every single day with bunch of flower petals flooding inside their shared bathroom.

that's what life is all about.

endless pain.


End file.
